Communication

Getting People Engaged

23 Sep
by Bridget DiCello

Engaged people are those who are interested enough to do something.  Engagement means movement.  Action.

What makes people act?  A desire to act usually comes from a desire to reach something greater than where they are either because of discomfort with the current situation or a vision of what’s possible beyond the current reality.

What does that mean for you in trying to get team members, peers, associates, and employees engaged?  Create an Invitation and find Common Ground.

Create an Invitation:  I’ve heard it often said that people will act because someone asked them to.  Will you help someone who asks?  Will you get involved because someone you trust invites you to?  Will you respond when someone explains what they need you to do?

Too often, people may not get engaged in a process, in planning, in executing and in implementing because it is easier not to.  Easier not to put themselves out on a limb, extend beyond their level of confidence, assume their help or involvement is not needed or assume what they are currently doing is enough.  If you see possibility beyond where your team is currently operating, invite others to see what you see, and ask them for their specific participation.

“You’ve put a lot of time and effort into this.  I appreciate all you’ve done.   I can’t help thinking that we could make it even better if we…  Will you help me by …?”

Find Common Ground:  People act because there is something in it for them.  I don’t mean people are self-centered and selfish.  I mean that each of us operates from our own point of view and when something is exciting, important and valuable to us, we tend to get involved.

Have you ever learned something new or gained more in depth knowledge about a cause, a problem or a challenge, and then decided to get (more) involved?

Finding Common Ground requires that we have a conversation with whomever we are trying to get more engaged.  It means we share some of our passion, and let them respond and determine for themselves what it is they are excited about.  There are often many facets of a project, problem or situation and the specific reason we get excited may not be the same as another person, and yet we both can become avid workers towards the end goal.

“I was thinking about the reason we started working on this project and how exciting it will be when we achieve the goal of…  What is it that you are most excited about?”

Who on your team needs to be more engaged?  Who do you wish would be of more help to you in what you are trying to accomplish?  Have you issued the Invitation and do they see the Common Ground?

The Coaching Conversation

14 Sep
by Bridget DiCello

Coaching is having a series of conversations with an individual in order to help them access their hidden potential to achieve greater levels of success.

-          Bridget M. DiCello

It is essential that you have both “Conversations on the Go” as well as “Undivided Attention Meetings.”  When you see acceptable or unacceptable behaviors, sometimes you need to address them immediately for greatest impact.  Other times you need to get both the employee and yourself focused on their improvement in a planned meeting where you have each other’s undivided attention.  In which meeting you bring up an issue depends on the urgency of the needed change in behavior.  If you wait as an unacceptable behavior continues, your frustration increases as does the employee’s resistance to change – which makes the conversation more difficult when it does occur.

Conversations on the Go:

1.  You bring up the unacceptable behavior and get them talking.
“I’m concerned about… because…  What Happened?”

2.  Then you talk.  Explain current unacceptable behaviors describing them specifically.  “Your bad attitude” and “your lack of initiative” are not specific behaviors.

3.  Get commitment to precise, doable action from the employee.

4.  Determine a follow up date – it may be your monthly meeting with them.

Undivided Attention Meetings – Monthly meeting where each of your direct reports prepares for and attends a meeting with you.

This is not about how you can help them or what they think you or the company could do differently.  This is about them reporting on their progress and challenges.

According to set agenda both you and they have prior to the meeting:

1.   They report their successes first – according to goals you have set

2.  They report on set metrics, projects, goals, status

3.  They identify the areas where they have fallen short and what they will do differently.

4.  You compliment them on successes you’ve seen

5.  You comment on their performance that can be improved. (using specific examples of unacceptable and acceptable behaviors.)

6.  Get commitment to precise, do-able and measurable action.  Help them come up with action items and strategies.  This is not easy and may take time.  Dig in and really find a do-able action.  Use Clarifying Questions like, “Can you give me an example?” and “Can you be more specific?” and “What have you tried in the past?”  Watch for Smokescreens and Tangents. 

7.  Determine a follow-up date and follow-up.

The only way you can help your team to really access their potential and therefore move your team to a higher level of performance is if you coach them.  Even the best employees need your coaching.  Michael Jordan had a coach who pushed him to excel!

 

“I Know You Can Do It!”

18 Aug
by Bridget DiCello

“I know you can do it!”  Why are these such powerful words?  When voiced by a someone about a colleague or team member, they express confidence in that person.  Despite the independent, confident, maybe egotistical approach of people who are difficult to work with, I believe there is a great lack of self-confidence under the surface, being hidden by confident speech.  When someone who they respect, whether because of a great relationship or by only an official relationship, says they believe they can do something, it energizes that person.

You are telling them that you believe in them and that they should believe in themselves.  Too mushy for you?  Well, it’s powerful and used well, can bring about significant changes in performance and levels of cooperation.

Do you tell team members this who you find difficult to interact with?  Can you get yourself to believe it for those who have less than stellar performance?

Why would you say this if you don’t believe it 100%?  There is power in what we say about ourselves and what others say about us.  By saying, “I know you can do it,” you are instilling a determination in that person.

You will find the most success when you follow up by holding them accountable to what they have agreed to.

What if they fail?  Doesn’t that mean you were wrong?  No!  It just depends on what timeframe you are talking about.  If you say they can accomplish something and they get frustrated because they didn’t get it done in a week.  Push harder.  Insist you know they can do it and ask them what the next step they are going to do is.  Everything is accomplished with a series of small steps.

Sometimes team members may at first look to prove you wrong in order to stay in their comfortable current level of performance.  Insist you believe they can do what needs to be done, that they have the ability to learn and to accomplish more than they have.

Try it.  Say, “I know you can do it!” with conviction to each person important to your success once a week and see what happens!

Power Words in Difficult Conversations

29 Jul
by Bridget DiCello

Have you ever seen the person you were speaking with shut down in reaction to something you said?  The words you choose can make a huge difference.

Be aware of these powerful words and use them carefully and purposefully:

1. No – “No” stops people in their tracks.  It puts up a wall.  It closes down communication.  Even if you disagree or feel the answer is “No,” you can sometimes still answer “Yes” and clarify the conditions in your response.  For example, the employee asks, “Can I have a $5/hour raise?  You could say, “No way!”  Or you could say, “I’m glad to see your drive.  Here’s what I would need to see in order to give you a raise of that size.  You would need to increase your production by 200%, train new people in the position and be a leader on our annual project.”

2.  Yes – At the same time, “Yes” is extremely powerful as well.  It makes people happy to talk to you.  It opens doors.  It opens communication.  If there is any way you can be honest and forthright and say “Yes,” do so.

For example, “Yes, I’d be happy to look at that.

Let’s find 10 minutes next week,” is much better than saying, “I’m too busy and can’t look at that right now.”  That would cause them to feel unimportant, no matter how busy they know you are.

3. You – It’s almost impossible to start a directive sentence with the word “You” without it feeling like you are pointing a finger.

An example: “You need to fix that problem.”   Instead you might say, “I’d like to see you take on that challenge.  Why don’t you give it a try and if you’re struggling come see me to ask me some questions.”

4. Why – “Why” can be a pushy sort of word, even if you don’t mean it to come across that way.

An example: If I asked you, “Where did you go to college?”  You tell me where, and I ask, “Why?”  You say, “Because I liked it there when I visited.”  I say, “Why?”  Eventually, you start to feel as if I am being critical of your decisions.  Use the other “W” words if at all possible to ask the same question, but in a less pushy way.  “What made you decide to attend that college?”  “When did you make a decision on which college to attend?”  “Where else did you consider attending?”

5. But – When you put “but” in the middle of a sentence, you are usually saying that one half of the sentence is a lie.

An example: “I really like that idea, but it won’t work.”  “That’s a great idea, but…” is essentially saying that it is not a good idea.  Replace the “but” with a pause or an “and.”  “That’s a great idea, and I’d like to explore the details a bit more, including the cost of implementation.”

6. Their name – Everyone likes the sound of their own name.  I realized the other day just how little I ever said my best friend’s name.  You tend to just talk if you are around someone a lot.  Getting someone’s attention by using their name is powerful and will start the conversation on a positive note.

Have you ever responded powerfully to one of these words?  Maybe you bristled when someone told you “No!” or started a statement with the word “You.”  On the other hand, maybe you felt good when you heard the word, “Yes,” or someone used your name when they were speaking with you.  Do you use these power words often and well?

Laziness is often a Misnomer

22 Jul
by Bridget DiCello

Managers use laziness as a reason why employees don’t do a good job or complete tasks they are assigned.  Maybe you have uttered the accusation, “(S)he’s just lazy!”  Some believe that people in general are lazy

I couldn’t disagree more! People are passionate, driven and intelligent beings!  We even see those with great physical and mental limitations accomplish great things. (Like the world-renown pianist who has only four fingers total!)

 

That drive to contribute, accomplish and succeed is in every person – it may just be buried deeply behind a lifetime of bad experiences, of hearing words that beat up the self-confidence and a barrage of media messages that promulgate mediocrity.

Any employee who works for you has worked other places before, has interacted with friends and family, and has received messages about what they can accomplish and what is acceptable and expected – for years.

Laziness is defined as averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion and slow-moving and sluggish.  Why would someone act this way?

1. Failing to do the work in a previous job did not bring any negative results and they continued to get a paycheck.  They watched others work hard and get paid the same thing or be given more work to do.

2.  They’ve worked hard in the past to reach a particular goal and failed, received harsh criticism for doing so, and were not given any coaching or a second chance.

3.  They have grown up in a generation who believes they are entitled to a great life and it’s easy to get there – just watch TV and pay attention to the messages, and it’s no surprise.

4.  They have never found their passion, gotten really excited about the mission or goals of a company and have never had a leader that connected with them enough to ignite this excitement.

5.  No one has ever “forced” them to be successful, by pushing them out of their comfort zone and providing a safety net to assist in their success.

6.  They have never worked with a boss who took the time to get to know them, what is important to them and where they are coming from – in order to help them feel part of the team and work to their strengths.

I’m sure there are many reasons why someone would appear “Lazy,” and these are just a few.  Below are suggestions of how you, as the manager, might address an employee who acts lazy for these reasons.

 

1.  No negative results in the past. Ensure you are clearly setting expectations, explaining consequences and holding them accountable.  Take the time to provide the routine accountability, insist they report on their successes and failures and require they give you an idea of what they can do differently to continue to improve.

2.  Past failures. Celebrate success and hard work.  Even little bits of success and small steps in the right direction should be acknowledged by you – as should little failures and small steps in the wrong direction – receive coaching and redirection.

3.  Entitlement. Realize that your employees may have a different mindset, and may not have grown up in a strong environment to teach them otherwise.  Do you as the manager have to act like a parent?  In the role of imparting values, yes, sometimes you do.

4.  Lack of Passion. Share the mission and goals, get them talking about them (notice I did not say that you should talk about them), require they come up with good ideas and show them through leading by example what passion looks like (this means all your managers need to do so, not just you if you are the top dog).

5.  Force Success. No matter how small, require they do tasks and activities outside their comfort zone, check in with them before they have a chance to fail to redirect them if necessary, and help them to taste success!  Your involvement will become less as time goes on.

6.  Bad boss. The best bosses expect great things, demand excellence, impart passion and excitement and most importantly, connect with their people.  They realize that the best processes and systems in the world will have limitations if they cannot engage their people.  Engaging them means taking the time to build a relationship, but a relationship is a two way street – they also insist the employee does their part!

Have you had an experience where you thought an employee was lazy, but were able to uncover a great employee using techniques like those listed above?

 

Top 3 Myths of Motivating Others – Do you talk too much?

12 Jul
by Bridget DiCello

People motivate themselves.  However, there are things that leaders can do to facilitate the process.  But first, let’s examine a few common myths.

People get motivated by an energetic, enthusiast leader. Some people do, and some just find that level of energy annoying or downright exhausting.  (If you do, you’re probably an introvert who would find great information in reading The Introvert Advantage, a great book recommended by a friend years ago.)  This energetic leader may get others excited about what they are doing, but rarely will this excitement alone result in the person displaying lasting motivation.  And, it can be very difficult for a leader to maintain that enthusiasm level, when they are expected to be the fuel for everyone’s fire all the time.

People get motivated by fear of repercussions. I read once that people would much rather experience all kinds of terrible repercussions than go through the painful process of changing their behaviors.  And over and over I see that is true.  If it’s easy to change their behaviors just enough to not get fired, people may do that, but never will they be motivated by their fear to do any more than the minimum.

People get motivated by hearing how important it is to get things done. It’s true that people are motivated when they are excited about the expected results, ambitious goals and the vision and mission of the organization.  However, the motivation does not necessarily appear because they heard about the expected results or vision/mission.  Very few people will become motivated for longer than a brief time when they hear something.

Most people will agree that those who are motivated do things.  Dictionary.com defines motivating others as “to stimulate toward action.”  There is a long distance between hearing something and doing it.

Therefore, in order to get others motivated, you need to find a way to get them TO TALK and TO DO.  And ensure they experience success, however small, as a result.

To Talk and To Do:

1.  Stop Talking. If you want to get a message across, speak some and then stop.  Ask questions and have a conversation which includes getting the other person talking.  Talking about the importance of the project/task, the possible methods for getting it done, the obstacles they see, the fears they have and the first steps they will take.

2.  Make First Steps Happen. In order to get started, some people need to be “forced” to take the first step, possibly because of fear of the unknown or perfectionist tendencies which lead to procrastination.  Laziness is often a misnomer.  As their manager, you might have to determine the first step with them, decide on a deadline and hold them to it.  When they experience success, their motivation level will increase.

What successes have you experienced in motivating others?  What challenges do you face?  Do you talk too much in your efforts to motivate others?  Are you effective at holding others accountable?

Your Nemesis & the Battle Plan

08 Jul
by Bridget DiCello

Your Nemesis – that one thing in your business that continually haunts you and inhibits your success. Identify it and Battle it.

Maybe this situation describes where you are right now: You are experiencing success. You have a good team. You have a plan to get better, to grow, to expand and to reach 2011 goals. But something is holding you back from the greatness you could achieve. Although you can picture even more success, it seems to be just out of reach.

Maybe just when things are good, you have turnover in your team and that slows you down.  Maybe when sales are being closed left and right, you lose a large existing customer and the back door seems as open as the front door. Maybe although your employees do a good job, there are just enough errors to make the fire-fighting a significant part of your week. Maybe your employees do what you ask, but don’t seize opportunities they see and add to the potential of the team. Maybe everyone does a good job, but there is tension between key managers or key employees. Maybe… The list could go on.

What is it for you that keeps you from achieving an even greater level of success that you know you could or that your boss is demanding that you do?

What to do? Identify your Nemesis and Correct it.

Identify Your Nemesis. Finish this sentence: “In an ideal world, we would…” At some point we all let mediocrity take over. Even successful companies rest on their laurels in certain areas or at a certain point in their success. Reach back to what you really want to accomplish and determine what is in your way to achieving that.

Then summarize your quality issues, fires fought, frustrations for you as a leader, expectations not met and customer complaints in the first half of the year. Pinpoint common themes and the root causes behind them. What is the problem or challenge that repeatedly comes up? What is your Nemesis?

Correct it. If this problem or issue was easy to correct, you would have done it already, it wouldn’t be recurring and it wouldn’t be your Nemesis.

How to correct a Nemesis? You’ve got to come up with a battle plan. If you want to win against your enemy in battle, try these tactics:

Know your enemy better than they know themselves. A quick look at a recurring problem and an easy solution is not the answer to address something that recurs consistently. Your Nemesis will only be addressed if you really understand it. What is the problem? What is the root cause? How is it affecting us? When does it occur? What have we done to try to correct it? What are best practices in our industry? Why does it occur? How does each person contribute?

Arm yourself with the right weapons. When you know the enemy/problem well, you learn how it fights, what makes it occur and you must identify how to attack it with what it won’t expect. This may mean your managers need new and different tools in their leadership tool box, new technologies or software, or good old fashioned face time with customers, vendors, colleagues or employees.

Attack with the element of surprise and destroy the enemy’s will to fight. In business, this means that you can’t just try the same old approaches and expect they will fix a long term problem. You might need to do something a little crazy. Although it’s hard to “destroy the will” of a turnover problem, the other side of that is your team being committed enough to fixing the problem that they stay focused and committed. When you are successful, the risk is that your team will tell you, “We’re successful. We are doing great. Why upset the applecart by addressing this issue – it’s just part of doing business in our industry. It’s always been that way. Our competitors face the same issue.” And on and on. A true Nemesis takes a lot of courage to fight because it’s a long term problem that may be seen as acceptable.

Fight on the terrain where you are strongest. In the Bible, the Israelites win a battle with foot soldiers against chariots because they are in a valley deep with mud. Use your strengths and your team’s talents and abilities to engage the problem.

You and your team can accomplish greatness! What is standing in your way? Identify your Nemesis and work diligently to correct it.

Can you not see the forest for the trees? A true Nemesis in your business is not easily discovered or corrected. Sometimes it requires a set of eyes from the outside. Someone outside your company can often lead you through the analysis and resolution of a long term, recurring problem. Contact Bridget if you’d like to talk about setting up a company meeting or team retreat to take your company to the next level.

Time Consuming Conversations – Time Wasters or Absolute Best Use of Your Time?

21 Jun
by Bridget DiCello

One of the biggest time wasters in your business day is time spent talking with other people!

AND

One of the absolute best uses of your work time is productive conversations with people important to your success!

Where is the difference?  Working productively with the right group of people is the key to multiplying success.  However, people are social creatures, who often fear something new, who wish to preserve their self-image and self-confidence, and don’t always get to the point in a conversation.  Therefore, if you wish for your ‘people time’ to be productive, it must be done purposefully.

Schedule appointments to talk.  If you plan to meet with another person and have a conversation, do it purposefully.  If you just ‘stop by’ their office or give them a call without a plan, you may end up wasting both of your time.  And they may do the same with you.

Set expectations ahead of time.  If you need to talk to them, plan a time and day and have an “agenda.”  Set a time and day on your calendars, even 15 minutes from now, to give each person time to “have their first reaction” and to prepare for the meeting.  Have the conversation ahead of time:  “When we speak, I will… and you will.. in order to accomplish [goal, task or decision].”  This works both up and down the chain of command.

For example, “I’d like to talk to you about the production logs.  How about Tuesday at 1pm for 30 minutes?  Before then, I will review the log for my areas of concern.  And you could review the log compared to last month’s as well as looking for overall opportunities for improvement.  When we sit down, we’ll go though the last two months, each sharing our observations.  Does that work for you?”  Make sure you get their commitment to the agenda you suggested.  If they don’t agree, edit or change it so that you can both prepare appropriately and not end up arguing about the agenda during the meeting.

If someone comes to you and wants to talk right then, tell them you are right in the middle of something, would like to be able to give them your full concentration and are wondering if you could come see them in 20 minutes.  Then, ascertain from them what it is they need from you when you come see them.  This asks them to think through the results they desire (which they may really not have done yet), and allows you to prepare as well, saving you both time and potential frustration.

Get very good at asking questions.   In these situations, you want to remain in control, specifically of making sure something productive comes out of the conversation.  Gladly take that responsibility.  In order to do that you need to ask questions from the standpoint of genuine curiosity to see where they are coming from and how that relates to what you are trying to accomplish.  With the information you gather, you can then notice excuses, frustrations in the form of roadblocks, and cries for attention that can get in the way of productive discussion.

When you talk, you share information.  You rarely can change anyone’s mind by talking.  By asking curious questions, you get the other person talking.  When they talk, you hear how they are really thinking.  When they talk, you can prompt them to consider your point of view.  Help them to get to a conclusion, considering what you value.  When they talk is when they think through things and may change their mind as a result.

It’s up to you to work to understand the other person.  The difficulty with having a conversation is that it is with a person – who has their own feelings, experiences, biases, expectations, etc.  The first thing they say is rarely the whole picture – as it is for you.  Ask your questions.  Give them time.

Schedule a follow up conversation if important to them or to you.  Set a time and date and the agenda for that conversation as well.

You Can Talk, but Can You Communicate?

24 May
by Bridget DiCello

Eloquent.  Intelligent.  Clever.  Articulate.  It’s a pleasure to listen to a well-spoken person.

Communicating, as opposed to speaking, requires that a message is sent and that a message is received.  Do you ever feel like you are just not getting through to someone?  You may try to rephrase what you are saying, say it again or remove distractions.  All these tactics work on the speaking end, but fail to take into account that in order for the message to be received the person on the receiving end must be ready, willing and able to be communicated to.

The ability to hear and understand is often the easiest to ensure – is the person intelligent, educated on the topic and experienced in the area being discussed?  It is the “ready and willing” that can be missing.  Are they worried, upset, offended, personally distracted, colored by their experiences, their successes, their failures, and their interactions with you that have gone well or badly in the past?

You communicate with a variety of people on a variety of topics every day.  However, I would guess that there are a few key interactions that are most important.  Maybe you:

-          are trying to ease tension between two team members

-          are working with a particular employee in whom you see great potential

-          are developing leadership skills within your middle managers

-          are trying to decrease turnover in your sales team or front line employees

-          wish to access the creative potential of all your employees to improve your bottom line results through increased efficiency or new product development

-          desire to improve the customer service offered by your organization

These are the situations where you may wish to spend a bit more time evaluating your effectiveness in communicating:

  1. Is your message clear?  Are you sure what you wish to accomplish?  Have you outlined it to the extent that someone else can grasp your full message?
  2. Are you communicating to the right people?  Are they able to lend their expertise, assistance or suggestions in this area?  Are you leaving anyone critical out?
  3. Are they ready and willing to listen and respond?  Where are they coming from?  What is important to them?  How do they see the situation?  What is on their mind right now?

To get your message across the best thing you can do is get the other person talking about it.

  1. What questions can you ask to get them involved in conversation so you can listen to how they view the situation, the options and possible solutions?
  2. How is this communication making them feel?  Worried?  Inadequate?   Overconfident?  Overall, are the two of you communicating or are you talking to a wall?

You can do a lot of talking and very little communicating if you aren’t speaking, asking questions and listening purposefully.  Who is it that you find it most difficult to get through to?

Do Your Managers Handle Diversity Well?

14 May
by Bridget DiCello

When I search the internet for workplace diversity, results include avoiding discrimination on the basis of race, gender, age, and religion.  Multicultural workplaces and the global marketplace are also popular discussion topics.

Should managers treat people differently because of their race, gender, age, religion or country of origin?  I say, “Of course!”  People are all unique and the qualifiers that have been pulled out in the legal world are only the tip of that iceberg.

Managers have the challenge of dealing with a group of individuals.  If they all look alike, that only serves to provide a false sense of security and comfort for the manager.  Truly that group can be just as challenging to manage since they are all individuals with their own experiences, beliefs, and histories.

Leadership is about interacting effectively with members of the team to accomplish business results.  Plain and simple, leadership is about people, people are all different from one another, and similarities often only delude you into thinking you are effectively communicating with another person.

A leader’s success level results from their ability to genuinely connect with all the individuals on their team to the level where they are able to access their potential and enable that person to become the best employee they can be, while keeping each person focused on their role in achieving the business goals.

In order to connect well, a manager must:

  1. Listen to the employee with genuine interest and be acutely aware of any assumptions they are making about an individual, both positive and negative.
  2. Engage the employee in conversation to learn where the employee is coming from in order to lead them in a productive direction.
  3. Encourage creativity and innovative solutions while diligently pursuing a strong and clear set of goals, within a defined way of doing business (values and culture).
  4. Provide a structure of accountability that is fair but demanding, enforcing this company culture through a series of productive conversations to address employees’ concerns and varying approaches.
  5. Take this aggressive and discerning communication approach to each and every employee to avoid the legal headaches, but also because it is the right thing to do if you want to bring out the best in each and every employee!

Many hard-charging, driven managers who experience a great deal of success will eventually hit a wall because of challenges with their effectiveness in motivating their team to higher levels of productivity and effectiveness.  Upper management often has been trained, mentored or self taught to be more effective, where middle managers may be limited unless their ability to listen, communicate and hold people accountable results in concrete business results.

What does your management team look like?  Do they have the skills they need to take the team members in your company to the next level of performance and motivation?  Are your managers able to embrace the diversity inherent in every team, no matter how much they look alike?

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